I’ve always loved this recording of the great piper Willie Clancy singing this funny little song. I hope it gives you a smile.

The Family Ointment

In a neat little cottage not far from the town
There lived a man called Marcus Brown
He was well to do had a neat little wife
But the want of a family caused great strife

With me randilum, fandilum, hi-diddle dandilum
Randilum, fandilum, hi-diddle day.

Things every day grew worse and worse
He consulted his mother’s old family nurse
“Kind Sir, don’t fret” was her reply
“Why don’t you the family ointment try.

Being pleased with the news away he went
And bought a box of this ointment
Home he came without any delay
His wife took some the very same day.

Next morning to Mr. Brown’s surprise
His wife was ill and she could not rise
She lay in the bed and the midwife came in
She threw away two that did image of him.

“Oh, Lord,” says he, “will she have another?”
when a drop of the ointment fell on his mother
“Oh, Lord,” says he, “will she have more?”
in less than an hour she had twenty four

And where he kept his cows and grass
Someone gave a drop* to the big jackass
He lay by the ditch and they thought he was stole
He pushed at his sides, and he’s striving to foal.